she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Houston, we have a blender
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
