I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
