You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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