the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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