You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
