nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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