I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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