He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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