There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So vagazzling was a success
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
