She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
