At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize