well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
