Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
