kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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