Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
