What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize