Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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