ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
