It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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