im six kinds of drunk right now
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize