somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
