No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
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Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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