yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
