Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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