So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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