note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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