I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
