You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
