I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize
