My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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