how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
did i just pee glitter
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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