are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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