I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
