tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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