1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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