I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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