this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
