it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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