New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
