thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
