Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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