I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
