Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
