I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
