dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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