She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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