Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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