office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i will never coherently bang her
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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