Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
