I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
