I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
