Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
