Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops