I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.