If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
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You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.