She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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