The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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