It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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