Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
