Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Say something about gay babies.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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